How do you handle judgment?

We're going to talk a little bit about judgment, because—guess what? You're judging me. I'm judging you. Your neighbor's judging you. Everybody's judging each other. It happens all the time.

The problem is when we start making our own life decisions based on what others might think of us, and based on what judgment that they might pass.

How many times have you made decisions based on what people might think of you?

How many times have you made a decision today based off of what others might think of you?

And it's not always somebody specific that we're worried about judging us. A lot of times the question is, “what will they think of me?”

Then somehow we end up basing our lives and our decisions on opinions that might or might not happen. You never know for sure who is judging.

The judgment might be negative or positive, but you don't know.

There's no control over what other people are going to think.

When we start making decisions based on what might or might not happen or judgment may or may not be passed, what we're doing is we're relinquishing control of our lives.

That's a really rough place to live.

Let’s think about it this way.

Let's say they do judge you and they actually judge you negatively. What's the worst that could really happen if that's their thought?

What's the worst that could really happen if they leave a nasty comment on your social media post? What's the worst that could really happen if they don't like your new shoes?

What about if they don't like that you've decided to homeschool your kids instead of send them to public school?

What about if they don't like that you're deciding to change careers after 20 years in the same profession? What if they don't like that you've decided to go vegan?

What's the worst that could really come out of their judgment of the situation?

Think about this in terms of…what is the actual worst case scenario? If somebody did leave that nasty comment on your post, what's going to come of it? Most likely…not much, if anything. Statistically, most people won’t even see the post to start with.

Or if they don't like your new shoes…the shoes aren't on their feet. So does their opinion really matter? If you think it looks great with your outfit, then why does their opinion matter?

Or if they don't like that you've decided to homeschool, what's the worst that could happen there? It’s not their kids, and you're doing everything by the books.

If you've been thinking long and hard about changing careers, then finally decide to take the leap and someone else doesn’t agree...how does that really affect them?

(And did you ask them for their opinion in the first place?)

What is the worst impact that their judgment would really truly actually have on your life?

Would it make a real difference?

The only way it would make a real difference is if you allow it to make a difference. In most cases, would ultimately depend on you.

We're not meant to live according to everyone else's opinions. Their opinions are for their lives and your opinions are for your life. And you can only really live your own life. You can't live anybody else's.

In essence, if you change your mind about something and you're doing whatever it is that makes you happy, then that's really your prerogative.

You're allowed to live your life. That's what you're here to do.

If other people are so caught up in how you're living your life, it begs the question…how are they living theirs?

There's a quote by Walt Whitman that says, “If I contradict myself, I contradict myself. I contain multitudes.”

And we do. We are multifaceted people. We are multifaceted beings. You're allowed to change your mind. Other people aren't going to like it all the time.

The truth, again, is that people are going to judge you no matter what. They could judge you in a negative light or they could judge you in a positive light. But you're always being judged by everybody.

(P.S. You do it too, and so do I).

How do we let other people's opinions affect our lives? How heavily do we weigh their opinions? And it's one thing if you’re asking for advice, and then it's not really looking for a judgment.

When the judgment is not requested and not warranted, we have to choose whether to:

• take it, mull it over, absorb it, and then decide whether we should change ourselves

• or see it for the opinion that it is, see if it aligns to who we are at our core, and release it.

Judgments are always going to be there. We cannot get around that. That's the truth. Somebody is always judging you all the time. Whether or not it's positive or negative, who knows? But the question is, are you living according to their opinions or on your own?

And are you hiding your true self and living according to your own design?

Those are all decisions that you have to make. How much are you going to let somebody else affect you and how much are you going to let it affect how you live your life?

I'll leave you with those questions and hope that even though people are judging us all the time, I hope that you stay true to yourself and how you want to live.